woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
