with your own penis?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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