If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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