He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
