I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
