I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
