I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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