if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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