I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
