drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
