Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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