My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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