what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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