are you still at the devil's house?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
