So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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