Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
