It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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