the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
