Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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