i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize