my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
