theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
