Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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