oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize