At least make sure they are 18
Why
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
