Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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