What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
