I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
