btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
