im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
