the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
