Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize