they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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