There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have already put on my inside pants.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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