Pappa wants mamma naked
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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