My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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