it was like his penis was on wheels.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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