My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
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Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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