Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
