..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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