i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
