my soul wont recognize me after tonight
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
