I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he shaved USA in his pubs
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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