i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
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And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
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Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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