I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
