wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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