Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You made out with two different species that night
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
