make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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