I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
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i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
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There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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