so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
