Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
