You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
