He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
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I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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