Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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