Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
