The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
