She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Boobs are out for the taking
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
