Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
