Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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