I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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