Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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